So guess what I did today?

God Dammit Comcast.

So I went to set down at my computer yesterday and found I could not go on the web, and was being told by Comcast ‘Hey, pay up or you’re not getting your nets back.’ Well, I am a blonde, so forgetting to do something silly like paying for net does happen from time to time (and yes I have a schedule thingy on my phone and everything.) So I check, and sure enough, I have an extra 50 bucks in my account and go ‘huh, that’s odd.’ Why would that be odd?

BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING AUTO-PAY! How I handle being blonde and forgetting stuff like this. OK, so fine, I’ll just login, and pay my bill.

Except it’s not taking my login, like at all. Fine, no problem, reset my password. “You don’t have a secret question set up.” 

Wut?

Ok, so the thing gives me an option to chat with someone, and I’m like ‘ok, sure, I work in customer service, so I dig ya.’ The person is kind, helpful, gets me logged in, I get my bill paid, and life is good, net is back.

Then they ask why I was logging in. I reply that I’m paying my bill, and was wondering why the auto-pay didn’t work.

“Let me research that for you.”

Five minutes go by. I notice that what I had to pay was about 7 dollars more than usual, but don’t think much of it as it was a ‘late payment’ even if it was there’s.

They come back, explain it was an error, and that they’ve got a great deal for me to make it right! Really? Ok!

They’ quadruple my internet speed, give me fifty channels (I’m not a TV person, but sure, if they’re just gonna give it to me) and it’ll only cost me NOTHING! No price increase, no charge to mail me the box, nothing.

Cool, sign me up.

“Oh, and to set the expectation, there will be a $15 charge to ship you the cable box.”

Wut? Well, OK, I understand shipping can’t be free, but they did just say no charge for the box. I suppose I misunderstood. (I later checked the transcript, I totally did not misunderstand)

Ok, so is there a contract for this?

“No.”

Great! Where do I sign? I start signing and about halfway through I notice a 12 month contract mentioned, hop back to the chat and go “Hay wait!”

Yup, suddenly there was a contract, sorry for the misunderstanding, again. But hey, Quadruple the speed for no price increase, and all it’ll cost me is $15 for a cable box I won’t use. Yeah, still a bargain and heck, I’d happily stay with them for a year for that. I go ahead and sign, grumbling a bit about the continuous misunderstandings.

Get to the end and happily give my confirmation code, cheering up because hey, quadruple net, and again, NO PRICE INCREASE.

“Just to set the expectation, your new bill will be $49.99 + $10.00 for the modem fee.”

Wut? What happened to my bill won’t change?

“It won’t.”

How is this my bill not changing?

“It isn’t.”

Ok, what’s my bill now?

“Last paid amount is $57″

Ok, add $49.99 and $10 together! and that’s before tax! How is that not changing my bill?

No reply, just suddenly I’m speaking to someone else, introducing themselves as a supervisor. I explained what happened and…

An HOUR later, multiple escalations, and me finally in tears just begging my newest rep to just put my bill back the way it was because this was AWFUL and I just wanted it to end by this point.

So yeah, Go to Hell Comcast! Go there and STAY there. You obviously came from there and I can’t god damn deal with you here obviously! GRAH!

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